Lately, however, I have really struggled with the value of what I do. I have battled with the messages that this world feeds us about what equates worth. I have imagined that friends and family look down on me for the choices I have made. I have felt unimportant and unappreciated. Joy has eluded me as I let lies take root in my mind. I have questioned whether or not this will even matter to Eli when he is adult, if it matters at all.
The answer is yes, it does matter. More than I will ever know.
I recently joined a women's Bible study at church. We are going through the Gospel of John. I joined in the middle of the study, but I think the timing was divine. Last week we studied John 12. I read John 12:42-43 about leaders in the Jewish community who believed in Jesus but would not proclaim their belief because of the Pharisees. Verse 43, when read through the lens of my own life, hit me hard. It says, "...for they loved praise from men more than praise from God."
By whom do I desire to be praised?
My frustration is rooted in my own selfish desires to be praised by the world. I have let myself believe that if I am not being exalted by the standards of this world, then I am not doing anything of worth. That thinking is sadly deluded. As the wonderful women in my Bible study reminded me, the work we do as mothers is so much greater than the things of this world. Our work is eternal and it matters to God. His is the only praise we should desire.
As I have read and prayed further about this issue, I have come to realize something else. The only praise I should seek is that of God, but above that I should desire to bring Him glory through my life. I recently began the first non-fiction book from my book list, Don't Waste You Life by John Piper. I am only a few chapters into it, but I have already gleaned much wisdom from Piper's words. The following passages are some that I felt fit in perfectly with the passage from John that spoke to me so deeply:
"God created me - and you - to live with a single, all embracing, all transforming passion - namely a passion to glorify God by enjoying and displaying his supreme excellence in all the spheres of life." (p.31)
"God calls us to pray and think and dream and plan and work not to be made much of, but to make much of him in every part of our lives." (p.37)
My greatest desire should not be to be made much of (and certainly not be the world's standards) but to make much of my Creator in everything I do. My goal should be to glorify Him through my life. My joy is to be found in this single passion.
Mothers, if you find yourself feeling like what you do doesn't matter or that no one appreciates it, please take heart. Believe me when I say that it does matter. Better yet, don't worry about what I or any other person has to say, and believe God when He says how much it matters to Him. Work diligently and joyfully and passionately, desiring with your whole heart to glorify God in all that you do. The rewards are far more spectacular than anything the world could ever offer.
Mothers, if you find yourself feeling like what you do doesn't matter or that no one appreciates it, please take heart. Believe me when I say that it does matter. Better yet, don't worry about what I or any other person has to say, and believe God when He says how much it matters to Him. Work diligently and joyfully and passionately, desiring with your whole heart to glorify God in all that you do. The rewards are far more spectacular than anything the world could ever offer.
Aw, hugs! I think it's a very normal thing to feel a bit anxious, perhaps? or just restless? being at home, especially during the winter months where it's a lot harder to get out. Doesn't mean it's right, just simply a season that God is perhaps using to help us grow in Him, like you are seeing :)
ReplyDeleteI think being in a Ladies Bible Study group is *perfect* for feelings like that. I wish they had more studies in the summer because that's when those feelings hit me. It gives purpose and structure to just get through another week. :)
You are such a good mother! It's just a season and it goes by so fast, you are so blessed (as am I) to be able to be at home and give ourselves to our family's.
I must tell you that this post came at a good time for me. I was laid off when I returned from maternity leave but learned it was a blessing in disguise because I really wanted to stay at home w/ my daughter. I've been feeling lately like I wasn't adequate for the position & felt like my worth was well, nothing in the world. Thank you for reminding me of my worth as a mother & that only God's praise matters.
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This was really good timing for me too. I've been struggling a lot, even in the last few days, thinking that people close to me are starting to look down on me for doing nothing except taking care of Caden. It really helps to be reminded that God is the one and only I should be trying impress and only His praise matters. Thanks, Melissa!
ReplyDeleteHugs my sweet sister! You are doing the most important and hardest job in the world. This too shall pass...
ReplyDeleteFollowing you from SITS.
As someone who taught for twenty years, the idea of not being there to teach my own little guy didn't make sense. Stopping from SITS!
ReplyDeleteOh Melissa, how much do I love you? Girl, I can't even count the ways! (Aren't I corny today? LOL!)
ReplyDeleteThis post was so timely. I want to come to your church and do Bible study with you, LOL! (I love John Piper by the way - Ed reads one of his book devotionals every day at work...it's the 50 reasons that Jesus came to die for us)
It's SO true what you said about asking ourselves if we're seeking praise from the world or reassurance from God. I can't remember the verse, but a few days ago I was reading in one of my Women of Faith devotionals about that very topic, about toiling away now because our reward is surely coming. We don't have to see it on the horizon, but it's there. I know that when all is said and done, whether I'm lying there dying in a cardboard box on the street or in on 400 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets (do those exist? Just what IS thread count anyway? See how rich I am...LOL) that I'll be glad to have stayed home with my children, supporting my family. It's rare nowadays, and it's even more rare to stick WITH it (so many women go back to work when their kids aren't nursing anymore, etc. - and sometimes I don't blame 'em, because preschool age, Grace, is TOUGH! Haha!).
You're awesome, and I thank you for sharing your heart!
Stopping by from SITS. This was a very good post and feels like it is something I could have written at one time or another. What you are doing is the most rewarding and honorable job there is.
ReplyDeletewww.cassandrakolb.blogspot.com
What a great post, Melissa! I, too, have really been struggling to find worth lately. Society has changed so much that being a working mom is now the norm and I feel like I have to explain myself when people ask what I do. I really needed to read this post. Thank you! :)
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