One Month

My little man is one month old today! It doesn't seem like it has been that long, but at the same time I can barely remember what life was like without him. He brings so much joy to my life every single day. I think all mothers hate to see their babies grow up, but I so enjoy watching him develop and change.

Before Elijah came into my life, I was without direction. I struggled for several years with understanding my purpose in life. I tried to find it by changing majors and schools (four times) and switching jobs. Each change left me disappointed as nothing ever fit. I began to believe that I didn't really have a purpose, that God had no path laid out before me. This caused a cloud of depression that hung over my head constantly, reminding me of the school debt with no degree attached to it and that I was in a job that anyone off the street could be trained to perform. I'm not sure how many times I cried in desperation over the lack of worth I felt.

Everything changed on December 23rd, 2oo8. From the very first moment I held that sweet boy and looked into his eyes, I understood. Years of confusion and frustration were washed away within a matter of seconds. He is my purpose. He is my life. He has filled a void in my life that no degree or job ever could. I am his mother and I am his father's wife, and that is what God had planned all along. I know my life will have many seasons and God will use me in different ways, but if all He ever needed me to do was bring my precious child into the world that would certainly be enough.